🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: LOCAL CHILDREN HAVE TOO MUCH ENERGY AND WE NEED BACKUP!!! 🚨🚨

HER MAJESTY IS SEEKING A ROYAL ADVISOR

ROYAL DECREE FROM YORKTOWN HEIGHTS, NY (10598)

The Queen of the Castle, age 7, is accepting applications for her next trusted Behavior Technician (BT/RBT) .

Before you get too excited, let's be clear:

This young monarch is brilliant, hilarious, very verbal, and capable of delivering a speech worthy of Parliament explaining why your request should be immediately overturned.

Yorktown Heights, NY After 4:00 PM | 25 Hours/Week Royal Treasury Approved Compensation

Royal Duties Include:

Providing 1:1 in-home support to Her Majesty Remaining calm during passionate royal debates Surviving negotiations that somehow last longer than Brexit Helping a wonderful child build skills, confidence, and independence

You May Be the Chosen One If:

You have the patience of a saint and the diplomacy of a United Nations ambassador

You can hear "But technically..." and not immediately surrender

You understand that when a 7-year-old says, "I have a proposal," you're probably about to enter a legally binding treaty

You genuinely care about helping kids succeed

Royal Benefits:

Your mornings belong to you. Sleep in. Brunch. Rule your own kingdom.

English & Spanish speakers are highly favored by the Crown. ¡Te necesitamos!

Supportive BCBA guidance. No knight fights alone.

Top-tier pay worthy of your service to the realm.

Warning: This position may result in uncontrollable laughter, improved negotiation skills, and being outsmarted by someone who still can't legally drive.

Send your resume, availability, and pay expectation today. Mention the 25-Hour Yorktown Heights Royal Assignment (10598).

The Queen is accepting audiences now. Apply before another loyal subject claims the throne-side seat.